How to Be Good Neighbors, Even in the Bomb Shelter
The siren sounds, and we all rush into the neighborhood shelter. A couple with an eight-year-old girl are the last to enter. The girl begins to make high-pitched sounds and waves her hands. Some people glance over uncomfortably; others try to look away. The atmosphere grows tense—will the girl disturb everyone? Can’t the parents control her?
But if we pause and see through different eyes, we might understand that this is a girl with autism whose world has just turned upside down. The noise, the sirens, the crowd, the tension — these make the shelter a terrifying place for her. What seems like odd behavior is her way of coping with an overwhelming sensory situation.
So, what can we do?
To those around her:
First and foremost, don’t look away. Sometimes, avoiding eye contact can feel more hurtful than helpful. Instead, offer simple, practical support: “There’s a quieter corner over here,” or “Let’s make some space.” If there are other children in the shelter, it’s a great opportunity to connect and make friends.
To families of individuals with disabilities:
Prepare your child or family member in advance. Explain what to expect using simple, clear language. Use noise-canceling headphones before the siren goes off (remember that there’s usually a 10-minute warning). Pack an emergency comfort kit: a favorite toy, snack, or small game can make a big difference.
Help orient them to time: saying, “We’ll be out in 10 minutes” and setting a visual timer can be very calming. For adults with intellectual or developmental disabilities, speak in short, clear sentences. Provide concrete, not abstract, information.
Building community—even in the shelter
Shelters can become spaces of social connection. Bring along a deck of cards, a soft ball, or a simple group activity. These help ease tension and offer natural ways to engage with neighbors.
Most important of all, be “with all your heart.” Just as the war’s slogan calls us to be brave like lions, we invite you to open your heart. To make every person – whether or not they have a disability – feel like they belong, especially in times of emergency.
Through Shalva’s “With All My Heart Ambassadors” program, we train individuals to become active partners in creating a more inclusive society. Because ultimately, our strength is not only in our courage against the enemy, but in our compassion for one another.
Author: Dr. Liron Benisti, Occupational Therapist and PhD in Social Work, Deputy Director of Research and Development at Shalva
